A jellyfish contracts its body to propel itself forward.
As its muscles contract, it forces water out of its bell, and as the water is ejected, the jellyfish starts to move.
Why am I sharing this?
Because sometimes moving forward in life can be deceptive.
You do not realise it is happening.
It feels like you are getting smaller, when in fact you are preparing for the next big push.
Sometimes, you have to let go of things in order to grow: old ideas, negative thought patterns, stored emotions, occasionally even people who do not support your dreams!
But how do you let go?
The method I prefer is that of David Hawkins, described in full in his book “Letting Go”.
In Co-Active coaching, it is known as Process coaching.
In the following example, I use a past event, but the steps can equally be applied to a person, a belief or a thing.
Essentially, anything which you are still attached to, anything which you are still carrying, that you need to release.
Here are the steps:
In recalling the ‘problem’ event in your past:
✨ be aware of the feeling it brings up
𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 – 𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘵, 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘦𝘹𝘢𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘦, 𝘧𝘦𝘢𝘳? 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘮𝘦? 𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳?
✨ let the feeling come up
𝘰𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘸𝘦 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘱𝘶𝘴𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘶𝘱𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘪𝘵
✨ stay with it
𝘴𝘪𝘵 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘤𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘪𝘵
✨ let the feeling run its course
𝘥𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘵𝘦𝘮𝘱𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘤𝘶𝘳𝘵𝘢𝘪𝘭 it. 𝘌𝘮𝘣𝘰𝘥𝘺 𝘪𝘵. 𝘕𝘰𝘵𝘪𝘤𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘣𝘰𝘥𝘺 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘪𝘵 𝘮𝘰𝘴𝘵
✨ ignore all the thoughts you have around the incident, focus on the feelings alone
✨ resist the urge to make the feeling different or do anything about it
✨ let out the energy behind the feeling
In the process of letting go it is important to allow yourself to have the feeling without resisting it.
So, don't resist it, vent it, fear it, or judge it.
It's just a feeling - it isn't you!
When you proceed with these steps you might notice a lightness afterwards, like a weight has been lifted. You might even feel euphoric.
Letting go can be difficult and resistance can come up.
But letting go is necessary if you really want your life to change.
At this point is when I see clients losing patience or getting frustrated. They have changed, but nothing external appears to have altered.
They don’t see any outer progress; they forget the progress they have made within.
I ask them to wait. To trust the process.
And then just like the jellyfish, they move forwards and grow like it is the most natural thing in the world to do.
To learn more about this process and how it can help you, click here